We arrived at Gatwick in drizzle and were soon in the air and landing at sunny Madrid, a short drive later we dumped our bags at the hotel and headed for the hills.
The rest of the day was to be spent in a fantastic area of ponds, quarries and scrub land. Unlike Crete, within minutes of being on site I flipped a rock and underneath was a stunning pygmaeus.. A new species for me.. I told Trev.. He was pleased I think, but as he was close to having a stress induced heart attack due to his over complicated camera, it was hard to tell. I took some pictures for a few minutes , Trev fell over, used naughty words and took about a thousand pics in case one was less than perfect.
I continued searching, many of the ponds we expected to find were dry, so I flipped rocks and logs in the damper areas.. Strangely in a very damp, mossey area of fallen stones from a wall, I flipped a blanus , I had seen a few before but always in very dry areas.. I showed it to Trev, by now trevs pulse had dropped to about 120 bpm.. He started taking another thousand pics.. Swearing as his tripod behaved like a drunk octopus and his glasses fell of.. I watched the vein in his head throbbing..
I carried on flipping and the saw the wall lizard,Podarcis guadarramae the main reptile species we wanted for this area. I was very pleased another tick.. Two ticks in just over an hour.. That rarely happens these days..
I searched for another couple of hours , finding no further species , but more individuals of the animals already seen.. Around fiveish Trev had run out of swear words, fallen over too many times and filled eight memory cards.. We decided to head back to civilisation for beer and scoffs.
Now here was a problem, before ten o'clock at night Spain is basically shut.. So we ended up buying a few bits in a super market and laying on our bunks drinking beer waiting for darkness ..
At eight o'clock we ventured out. The weather was perfect .. Hot, humid and raining slightly.. Not two minutes out of the car and I found a calamita .. Not exciting for you mainland types but as rare as decent coffee in the UK.. At least a three and a half hour drive for small colonies .. It is quicker for me to see them in France.. Trev was excited, he fell over a bit and started taking pictures.. I carried on to a small shallow pond we had found earlier, cisternii were calling every where.. To say I was excited is like saying FIFA is slightly naughty, this was my top amphibian wish for the trip.. I was listening to the calls and trying to locate a specimen when Trev walked up with a large adult pleurodeles he had found in the grass by the pond, a new tick for me.. And as we were standing there a slight movement caught my eye and I spotted a nice adult Cisternii.. Bingo another tick.. Four ticks on one day.. I doubt that will happen again for a while.. We played recordings of male cisternii back to the calling males..they lost their shit..very amusing..
We continued searching .. By which I mean I looked for stuff while Trev took pics, fell over, lost kit and tested the tensile strength of the vein in his temple.. In the dark all I could here was kit being dropped and language even a non English speaker would understand..
I found calamita, shed loads of them.. They were everywhere in the sandy soil.. Pygmeus were out in force as well..
We searched for a few hours and decided to head back.. Strangely, given the near perfect conditions, there were no molleri or spinosus to be had ?
On the path back Trev stopped me and pointed out a little owl..Athene noctua, in a tree watching something intently on the ground ahead of us.. Remembering a post beer nocturnal conversation I had with a certain Belgian field legend, we used our head torches to seek out eye shine.. There in the path shining back were two headlights of eyes. The beast that blocked our path was immense .. At least the size of an SUV.. It was a stunning culiptres Not new, but stunning.. Many pictures were taken of this beast.. Mainly aerial as it was so huge...
I cant lie, and I don't care if I get thrown out of viper boys or salamander club.. this toad was the best thing I have found in years.. there I've said it..its out there...* fist pumps the air and sobs uncontrollably with relief..
We went back to our beds tired but happy..
We got up early the next day. And after one of the best coffees I've ever had ( obviously Spanish tea is pelt) we headed to higher altitude for some different species..
We parked at a ski lodge and started the walk to the summit.. Trev was so slow going up hill that I could time him with a calendar.. In the time it took Trev to get halfway to the summit , Gert Jan and Sjeord would have summited found all the species , taken pics, taken mountain abs selfies, returned to the car, showered, changed, and had beer and scoffs and a lick of the bar maid.
I carried trevs rucksack .. This made him marginally faster, but gave him the energy to whinge with such regularity I believe he must have non British DNA.
Finally we crested the top and descended into a beautiful mountain valley ... This had vipers written all over it.. Rock piles, juniper bushes.. Lovely ..
Just one problem .. The weather turned very cold, cloud came down and the sun was sporadic. I searched a stream and found salamandra.. A new sub species for me.. Almanzoris.. I searched for around two hours but although salamander efts were in good numbers, I could not find any Rana Iberica..
On my climb back up the valley sides I checked for vipers, but the cold weather and late season was against us..
As I rejoined Trev he showed me the small lizard he had caught on an outcrop.. A new tick! The Rock lizard cyreni .. We were extremely pleased given the conditions.. And the joy of watching Trev falling over and stressing over taking pictures was a bonus..
We resumitted as it was starting to get dark and retraced our steps down the mountain, I flipped another rock lizard and just before the car park I flipped a corenella.. Not a bad day out given the weather ..
We headed back.. Had a dirty Mc ds in honour of Bobby and went back to the hotel. We dumped our kit and headed out to look at some ponds we spotted earlier on Google Earth .. The ponds produced only calamita and again no molleri..
We headed back for tea, medals and sleep.
Up early we went to the cafe, much coffee was drunk and then we headed for the type locally for psammadromus occidentalis .. This was a beautiful area.. Bare rock and scrub. Temps were hot, a very soon I flipped a ladder snake, it was a very angry fellow, we took some pics and let him on his way..
As the temps got higher we started to see psammadromus .. Only one problem.. How do you tell them apart.. We saw loads of juveniles, some with rust coloured tails, some with light tails, some all grey.. I didn't have a scoobie.. Answers on a postcard please.. any IDs gratefully received. We saw a nice adult, which I assume was algirus .. Nice blue spots on the side..
I flipped a small rock and flushed a juvenile green lizard.
Continuing on, we spotted an adult timon.. We took a few pics and he dashed off with a look like he would do our legs if he caught us alone in an alley.
We headed back to the car and on the way spotted a juvenile spiny foot lizard
And more of the local wall lizards..
We drove the hour back to the airport and after the usual dirty burger ( Gert Jan I will be on a clean eating, pull up, press up and burpee mission for the next month) and full search at the airport.. I look naughty when I haven't shaved for four days.. We headed back to dear old Blighty..
So.... In conclusion...
Madrid is a fabulous place to herp, loads of cool species, great scenery, cheap flights and great coffee..
Five new ticks in two and a half days.. Not to be sneezed at.. The euro list creaks on..
Low Pro camera bags are dog shit.. Overpriced, badly designed and poorly made, not suitable for field herping.. Save your money and get a non name brand.
Huge thanks to Trev for his company, for driving and making me laugh so much by falling over a lot, getting so stressed over taking pictures and stringing an unbelievable amount of swear words into one sentence.
A further huge thanks to the usual suspects who gave me so much help and advice for the trip, you know who you are, and I am as always grateful and in your debt .
It seems an age until my next herp trip.. Skyros in nine days time with the naughty Dutch guys.. Beach selfie massive ai !!!
Pauli
Has got to be one of the best cheekinesses I've heard all year 
)